The little black book for billionaires lists all the mad must-have services for the super rich, from a cigar adviser to a 'wellness concierge'
There's never been a trickier time to be one of the stinking rich. Take poor old Johnny Depp.
Last week, legal papers lodged by his former management company revealed he got through a staggering £21 million in the past year alone – including £24,000 a month on wine, £159,000 a month on private planes and £238,600 a month maintaining his staff of 40.
But then today’s super-rich need far more help than a chauffeur and a butler or two. This is where Spear’s can help.
The magazine and research company publishes a directory of 500 advisers, consultants, agents and managers for Ultra High Net Worth Individuals (UHNWIs) – and this year’s entries are so eclectic they’ll stretch your credulity, as well as your wallet. Just don’t query what they cost.
As they say, if you need to ask you can’t afford it. Here’s our pick of the most peculiar...
COUNSELLOR TO HELP KIDS COPE WITH CASH
A counsellor can help steer the children of UHNWIs through the special problems that come from having way too much money
With kind eyes and a gentle smile, Mark Boyden, a psychotherapist and executive coach, is the go-to man to ensure the billionaire’s family maintains an emotional and mental even keel.
As well as dealing with issues that affect us all, such as stress, addiction and anxiety, Boyden and his team can also help steer the children of UHNWIs through the special problems that come from having way too much money, and help the billionaire deal with personal problems that arise in the ‘family offices’ – the term for businesses established by UHNWIs to manage the wealth of themselves and their dependents. Money, it seems, buys you a better class of unhappiness.
BOOKIE FOR BILLIONAIRES
There’s no need for billionaires to slum it in the local bookmaker’s. Instead, many UHNWIs head to the bookie Fitzdares, established and run by the magnificently named Balthazar Fabricius, and backed by Zac and Ben Goldsmith.
Located in a Mayfair townhouse, punters – who have to be proposed and seconded for membership – gamble many thousands of pounds on all manner of events, and can even bet on private backgammon tournaments at exclusive London clubs.
Fabricius won’t forget his biggest ever loss, when a client bet £50,000 at 10-1 on a no-score draw in a football match between Watford and Crystal Palace. Although that hurt, Fabricius is still very much in business.
YOUR SUPERYACHT SUPERVISOR
A fancy superyacht is the ultimate billionaire’s status symbol - but they're not easy to run
It’s all very well to have bought your superyacht, but you have to keep the thing afloat. With estimated running costs of £3 million to £5 million per year, the ultimate billionaire’s status symbol is a business operation in itself.
And, like any business, the superyacht needs a management team. The best man to handle everything from hiring a crew to supervising a refit is undoubtedly Jonathan Beckett, the eminence grise of the superyacht world, who has been afloat since 1975.
‘When someone says, “jump” then you jump,’ he says, displaying a humility that makes him such a firm favourite with his well-keeled clients.
THE NUCLEAR BUNKER BROKER
People are worried about Doomsday once again, and no more so than the uber-minted. And what better response than burrowing underground – or buying up a luxuriously-converted nuclear bunker or rocket silo in which to see out Armageddon? This is where Edward Peden & Dianna Ricke-Peden, bunker agents supreme, come in handy. With properties such as the Atlas E Missile Site in Kansas on sale for $3.2 million, they may ensure your family and your wealth survive a Trump-inspired nuclear conflagration. Problem is, will there be anything left to spend your money on when it’s all over?
THE CIGAR CONSULTANT
Cigar consultants advise plutocrats how to burn through their money
DIRK Seyfried, manager of the exclusive James J. Fox Cigar Merchants on St James’s Street in London, holds the unusual qualification of being a Master of Havana Cigars. There is nobody better qualified in Britain to advise plutocrats how to burn through their money, especially with boxes of cigars costing hundreds of pounds.
Although Seyfried is happy catering to the needs of the UHNWIs, he finds that cigars are classless. ‘You can find a huge selection of people from all over the world and all types of background, happily enjoying the moment with fellow cigar smokers,’ he reassures us.
THE WELLNESS CONCIERGE
'Wellness concierges' prepare an entire routine
UHNWIs don’t have personal trainers any more. That’s so 2016.
No, what they have are ‘wellness concierges’, such as Simon Blackford of Ellidore Lifestyle, who will prepare an entire routine of work-outs, massages, yoga, nutrition, detoxes – and a car to take you from appointment to appointment with the most high-end of practitioners.
Even the busiest of billionaires now has no excuse for not having a body beautiful.
When it comes to describing his approach to advising UHNWIs on how to dispose of their riches, David Carrington is fond of quoting Aristotle: ‘To give away money is an easy matter and in any man’s power. But to decide to whom to give it, and how large, and when, and for what purpose and how, is neither in every man’s power nor an easy matter.’
Carrington hopes to promote wise spending, enabling his clients to have ‘helped someone do something very special’.
A bit worthy perhaps, but really, what’s not to like? Far better to help the deserving than spend it all on superyacht fuel.
By Guy Walters
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